Jerry's Corner

When Grandma Goes To Court

Posted on: March 12, 2008

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you
since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize
you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a

youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention
he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was
your wife. Yes, I know him.’
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a
very quiet voice, said,
‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you
both to the electric chair.’

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