Jerry's Corner

Clean Jokes.....!

Posted on: March 31, 2008

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?’
‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of
her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said, ‘So why is the groom
wearing black?’
_________________________________

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, ‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord,
please don’t let me be late!’

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting
her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off,
and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray…

‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please don’t shove me either!’
___________________________________

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about; their fathers. The first
boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
poem, they give him $50.’
The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece
of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.’
The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect
all the money!’
________________________________

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,
she wrote, ‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them
to take me out when I’m dead.’
_________________________________ _ _____

A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if You had to
arrest your own mother?’
He answered, ‘Call for backup.’
______________________________________

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.’
____________________________________

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how
Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’
Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in my side.
I think I’m going to have a wife.’
_____________________________ _____ _____

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other, ‘What do you think about all
this Satan stuff?’

The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how Santa
Claus turned out. It’s probably just your Dad.’
_________________________________________________

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing! Take heed and pass these along to
people who need a laugh.

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