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Paperwork, the Bane of My Existence

Posted on: January 24, 2007

By Kim Ward

The one thing which brings fear to my heart is the thought of paperwork. In the world we live, paperwork is king. It is understandable that a record of what has been done is needed. Records are great in many respects and serve a definite purpose. But does everything I do need to be recorded and saved onto the memory of some secret black ops computer somewhere (lets not be naïve) in order for the powers in charge to keep me under tabs.

This world is a dangerous and nasty place for the hatters of paperwork. Everywhere you go requires some sort of paperwork transaction. Receipts alone have probably been the true cause of the destruction of the rainforest. And for anyone who has a job, the only reason you have a job is due to the paperwork you filled out on the first day and continue to fill out today. And pray to the Gods you have the right paperwork if the IRS, FBI, CIA or any other agency that has initials, comes a calling. And may you never be asked “Show me your papers pleeze” said with a strong accent while in a foreign country by someone in uniform. There is nothing enjoyable or gentle about a body cavity search by someone looking for the right paperwork.

There is not a child who attends school that hasn’t been exposed to some of the evils paperwork has to offer. Homework (a codeword for paperwork at home) has caused more pain for children than No Child Left Behind (another paperwork conspiracy). The site of a blank tablet of paper may actually cause more psychological trauma to California children than a spanking.

So for the children, the rainforests, taxpayers, employees, travelers and anything with a pulse in and of the world, we need to revolt. Let’s burn paper like we were women burning bras in the sixties. Be careful you may be cited with a piece of paper. Watch out for paper cuts.

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