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End the Disappointment

Posted on: June 09, 2007

By Alyson Carson

Last Sunday I had a huge realization! I was thinking about life and how to be happy. I realized that the only time we can be disappointed is when we expect a certain outcome. We all have a higher self. This higher self can lead us through life and bring us more happiness and prosperity than we can even imagine at this time. The trick, though, is to listen to what our higher self tells us. Here’s how listening to our higher self and disappointment are connected: in order for us to hear and trust what our higher self is telling us, we have to stay unattached to a particular outcome. Why? Because when we become attached to a certain thing, our lower-self voice comes in. When that happens it becomes hard to distinguish between the two, and we can easily confuse them. As they get confused more and more the more disappointment we have. Here are three ways to stay unattached to the outcome and create more joy in your life.

• Get rid of the need to control. There is a funny saying that goes something like this, “When humans start planning, God laughs.” I don’t know who said that, but I thought it was pretty funny. So many times we make a plan and things don’t turn out exactly like we want. That’s ok. The problem comes in when we feel like we’ve failed because we didn’t get exactly what we want. So we feel like we have to get a tighter grip on things. We have to start controlling our spouse, our children, our employees, or whoever. We believe that if we take more control of what people do then we will get what we want. Probably not. The problem with trying to control people or things is that we lose touch with our higher self. That means we start confusing our higher and lower self, and we get more disappointment. Just let go. Let things happen, and go with the flow.

• Practice saying, “I don’t know.” The need to know everything comes from your own insecurity. If you felt totally secure with yourself, would you really have to impress everyone you meet? Having to know everything just feeds having to control everything. They go hand in hand. Learning to say, “I don’t know,” is a sign that you are fine with who you are. It also helps you learn to hear your higher self, because you don’t have to know the next step that you will take. You are ok with uncertainty. Let me tell you something. If you ever feel like you have certainty in your life you are only fooling yourself. Certainty does not exist. You can trick yourself into thinking it doesn’t, but it always will. Don’t you think you will be happier if you face up to the reality that it doesn’t exist than trying to force it to exist?

• Trust that everything always works out perfectly, because it does. Even if you are in the habit of listening to the promptings from your higher self, you will not know the intended outcome of the actions you need to take. Just because you take a particular trail doesn’t mean you will end up where you think you will end up. I know a couple who followed their higher self and started a business. The business failed miserably. Looking at it in the moment it looked as if their higher self failed them. But as they reflect on it now they know it was for their own good. They learned skills from that endeavor that now saves them hundreds, or even thousands, of dollars a month. They didn’t know it at the time, but even when their business failed it was for their highest good.

Stop struggling with life. You can both struggle and stress or you can relax and flow. When you relax and flow you have access to your higher self. You will get insights that you couldn’t get otherwise. You will ultimately be more successful than if you struggle. I know it’s a lot to take in, but when you struggle against life you really are setting yourself up for getting less in life than you deserve. Just let go.

Alyson Carson is a small business coach who specializes in helping small business owners attain holistic wealth to create more joy in their lives. She helps them thrive physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually as they obtain their monetary wealth. If you would like help implementing these ideas, feel free to contact her. She can be reached at alyson@life-balance-institute.com. Her website is www.life-balance-institute.com.

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